Monday, 12 December 2011

Home Alone

When a teacher sets his pupils a task, he can stand at the front of the class and watch them work, and the likelihood is the majority of them will do the task. But the minute he leaves, most of them, even the good students will get distracted and abandon the task. This is my fear. Up until this point I’ve been attending a Creative Writing class at Oaklands College and so every week I’ve been enthused to write. I’d like to say that it was my love of writing that made me do all the homeworks, but sometimes it wasn’t. If I hadn’t known we’d be looking at the homeworks in class I don’t honestly think I would have spent three hours a week writing them. So that’s my dilemma. What sort of student will I be now the teacher’s left the room?  
I’ve started to clear up the desk in our bedroom and make it a writing friendly place by putting photos of loved ones, plenty of pens and paper, and candles, but have I actually sat down and wrote something? No, I haven’t. I think something strange has happened. You know when some animals are first born and scientists say that the first living thing they see, they will believe is their mother, well I think something like that has happened with me. I keep trying to make my desk nice and inviting, so I’ll want to go over and set up camp, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I think it’s because all the homeworks I did for my writing class were written in my lunch break at work, so without meaning to, I now associate my desk at work as being my writing space. Maybe subconsciously I believe all the ingredients for good writing are exclusively assessable at work and not at home. I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself as if I do I’ll start to see writing as a chore and then I won’t do it. I’m not sure I was ready for the teacher to leave my classroom.

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